I intend on talking about not just weight, but health in general, from physical to mental health because I believe that it is important to understand that this is a journey that is not just about numbers on a scale. I'm not looking for some magical number. I'm doing this journey to get healthier and along the way I am challenged by health issues that are affected by my weight, or that will affect my weight loss journey. Likewise mental health will play a key role throughout this, affecting motivation and more. The importance of both can not be underestimated here.
I am restarting the blog as a bit of a resetting point for me. I used to be 850 pounds at my highest. I was, thankfully, never fully bed bound and through some hard work with an incredible team I was able to lose one hundred and fifty pounds in order to get a bariatric surgery, gastric sleeve specifically, that brought me down to 550. I came up again to around 580 where I've maintained for the last several years, going up and down at various points, but generally staying around 580. I am more mobile than I've ever been, though I am still largely home bound. I can walk short distances and get out to appointments in cars rather than requiring a stretcher. My quality of life improved drastically. But it's not enough for me.
In the time since all of that happened, we had a pandemic and I fell into a rut. Also my health started to take a bit of a nose dive. I got diagnosed with diastolic heart failure. It is relatively mild. It only goes below 50% ejection fraction if I am pretty sick. I got a series of infections over the course of 2 years that culminated in a bad case of endocarditis 1 year ago. It was bad enough that I was pretty sure I was going to die. There is nothing like that to be a great motivator to get your life in order.
Of course, other issues reared their head, from low testosterone issues and then also being diagnosed with an auto-immune condition known as Sjogren's Syndrome. These all help to make it harder for me to move and be active. I also had several falls, including breaking my foot in two places that laid me up for two months. This was incredibly frustrating and I am surprised my mental health didn't suffer more. I think if it wasn't for a whole new mindset that I had gained, post the endocarditis where I had learned to let things go more easily and be more mindful, I would not have been able to.
That really speaks to the idea of needing to reset when things go wrong. You stumble and it hurts, but you keep going. There is a concept in therapy of failing upwards. It's likewise called in gaming, failing forwards, where you make a mistake, but you keep going and it's always progress towards success. That's how I tried to view those setbacks. They were setbacks, but they were on the road towards my success.
This week I was speaking with my therapist. I was growing listless and bored and disconnected. Things that I usually did weren't interesting to me. He proposed that perhaps I was getting burnt out on electronics. I considered this for a bit and then started reading more and then resolved to spend more of my day than I had, trying to be active. I can't stand for long, so I have started to incorporate a seated exercise program for 15 minutes after breakfast and once I am able it's going to become 15 minutes after lunch as well. Since implementing that I'm already down to 575, a loss of 8 pounds this week. Some of that is going to be water weight and what not, but I have noticed my stomach is more pliable, it's not as taut. It's a good sign.
I'm resetting things, restarting my journey and I hope you will join me on it. If you are going on your own journey, please share where you are, your thoughts and how you are doing below.
