Dear Fat Shamers,
You are right. Oh how right you are. I am fat. I am a lard ass. I am a fat ass. Hell, I'm just a plain old ass. I've let myself go, my body has gone to all sorts of hell. My weight has gone up and down so many times you would think that it had a yo-yo sponsorship. I can't help but get out of breath when I walk even a minimal distance to you.
I am disgusting. I know it, I see it in the mirror every day. I know how hard it must be for you to look at me. I have a hard enough time looking at myself and I only have to deal with that every now and then. I get it in just bits and pieces, what will fit in the mirror or what I see when I look down. I haven't seen my feet in years.
It's all my fault. You are right, it is all my fault. I let myself get this way. I am the master of my own destiny and I should have had the self control to stop myself from getting this way. I didn't need to eat the extra food. It's just SO EASY. I'm doing it to myself. I should know better. Those commercial's, they aren't for me. They are for you, for those who can handle it. I should know better than to pay attention.
I'm sorry for getting in your way. The world wasn't built for me and I know that. On the plain I should buy more seats. Or better yet I shouldn't even be on the plane. I know, fat people, we just sweat more, we stink more and we shouldn't be an inconvenience to you and the other people on the plane who have paid for it. How dare we? You are right though, when I do go out I should get a beeper, just to let people know when I'm backing up. I've never heard that one before. You are both witty and insightful.
I know you care for me. You only say this because you want to help me. If I just acted better, you wouldn't have to treat me like the human filth that I am. I know what trash I am. When I wake up in the morning I remind myself of it every day. Of what this is doing to my friends and my family. The pain that what I am, of who I am is causing them. I see it when they drink themselves to bed every night. I see it when they smoke to get away from me. It's my fault. I've done this to them.
And I know, I know that because I am fat, my opinion, my words aren't worth a damn. I mean why should it? I've already proven just how shitty I am. You've shown me the light. And even though I am three or even four times the person that you are, your opinion is worth twice as much, because you've got it all going for you.
You've never had to deal with the things I have.
You've never woken up with a great weight on your chest, being unable to breath.
You've never been in such great physical pain that sometimes it's a wonder you can even move.
You've never had every mistake thrown in your face day in and day out by people who don't even know you.
You've never had everyone look at you WHENEVER you eat like you've KILLED their favorite pet.
You've never realized that no one will ever be a worse critic than yourself.
You've never fought and failed and then had to try and fight again.
Your life is SO FUCKING EASY that you have enough time to come down from your ivory tower to tell ME how messed up MY life is as if it is some new god damned revelation.
You know who fat shaming is for at the end of the day? For you and this uncivil culture we have that acknowledges bullying is wrong, yet somehow thinks it's okay as long as it's against the socially unacceptable. You know, that article you read about that guy who farted in the face of that kid who was a brat to his mother, because he's a real hero! He's putting that kid in his place, bullying the brat who needs to change his life, to get him to change it! Or how about that guy who posed as target customer service to troll and insult at all of the people who got upset when Target removed gender from it's toy and linen departments. He was great, getting at all of those intolerant jerks! It's all in good fun and funny, so it's okay! Lets cheer them on! You are there just trying to have a laugh, or point out how stupid they are, point out their faults and maybe that will fix them. Maybe you will really fix me and my life. Because obviously...
I'm the one who has that empty life.
I'm the one who is wasting my life.
I'm the one who is wasting everyone's time.
You know... some days, you actually have me believing it.
And I know you are sitting to yourself thinking that I don't get it.
Or you are sitting there wondering where the talk of incivility comes from given my cursing?
The thing is... I do get it. I do know.
The point is that you don't know ME. The -real- me.
You -may- well be trying to help.
But you aren't.
Food addiction is REAL.
My pain is REAL.
My life is REAL.
I deserve as much respect as anyone else.
Before you go casting those stones, imagine how you would feel if someone did this to YOU. Without knowing your story.
photo credit: SHAME! via photopin (license)
No comments:
Post a Comment