And finally my computer is back alive. I can finally start devoting more time to writing once again. I am going to try and not let it slide. My goal is to try and post twice a week at least, more if I can do so. But finally the frankencomputer is working. Thank the lord!
I am starting to feel a bit Frankenstein like myself in some ways. Not from the composed of other bits of other peoples, but more in that I feel like so much of what we are doing with my diet and exercise program is just cobbled together. My size and weight aren't all that common. So uncommon that people my size might often end up being the subjects of the rare television special or series of news articles.
The methods for dealing with our sets of circumstances are often guess work because when you get to such extremes, it can be really hard to get a definitive plan together with so few chances to refine it. For me, while most people my size would be facing tons of heart issues, I've been very lucky in having virtually no heart issues. I've suffered from high blood pressure, but it is very controlled. My Diabetes is also very controlled. I am also very lucky in that I can still walk. That is perhaps the biggest thing. But still I cannot walk far enough to get into a car or a wheelchair van or anything to get to appointments, so we have to make do, using ambulances. My walking regimen involves lots of resting. My physical therapist and I are literally adjusting things every time they come over which has been three times a week just because there is no handbook for this.
My diet. I had thought that was fairly set, but now I'm hearing from my nurses that they are rethinking it at the weight loss clinic, worrying I may not be getting -enough- protein and nutrition to help maintain muscle mass as I lose weight; which baffles me. It's this delicate balance that is trying to be achieved and I just pray that we can maintain it until we can get through to the other side.
I am heartened though. I read this great article about a british man who was 950 pounds. He had gastric bypass surgery and now he's a lot smaller, but he is dealing with his skin folds. he has made it, he has changed his life around and he was even bigger than me. That's not something that I can really say that often about people. It also reminds me of what I am going to have to face eventually, with my excess skin. I was staggered to learn he had over a hundred pounds of extra skin on his body and it makes me realize that all of my excess weight, it isn't just the weight, it's the weight of how my body has adapted to support its self. I am likely going to have a similar, though slightly less amount of skin to be removed, but in a way that will be the easiest almost a hundred pounds I'll ever lose. If you haven't read the article, please do. That man is an inspiration, quite literally to me.
I am glad that I am making this journey. My only regret is that it has taken me so long to get to this point in my life. So very very long. But better late than never. I will get down in size and soon I'll be able to go out and do things again, spend time with people. I'm already walking better and better. I've doubled my laps in the last month and some change. I'm exercising more, doing more and feeling better. My physical therapist has even cobbled together a way to help the lymph edema in my abdomen. So things are improving. I get weighed again in two weeks. Really focused on that. though this friday I am taking a bit of a break from all of the work the last few months to celebrate my birthday. Not going to go -too- over board, just treating it like a cheat day, just one that we are celebrating my birthday on. It's perfect timing.
photo credit: Frankenstein via photopin (license)
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